I am just going to leave this here and see what happens.
I am just going to leave this here and see what happens.
Recently, a friend sent me an article called I’m Not a Writer.
Don’t ask me how the guy wrote the article if he’s not a writer.
Summed up, the author says that he’s never felt compelled to write and if he never wrote another word again, he’s be just fine with that.
And yet, he still wrote this article. He has articles and whatnot published and some self-published books. This guy wants to share ideas, but writing itself is not something he enjoys.
Reader-peeps, this scared the crap out of me when I read it. Especially when I read the part about how he could never write again and he’d be okay with that.
I have been there. I have wondered things like “do I even want to write? would I be happy if I did something else and never wrote again?” This is not to say that I wouldn’t still be sharing ideas in some medium, but Bob-darnit, peeps, writing novels is HARD. I used to turn out a novel at least once a year. They weren’t “good”, per se, but they were full stories and I adored them and loved writing them.
I haven’t finished a novel since October 2016. I feel like I’ve said this before here on this blog. If I did, I probably also said that this scares me. I feel like something in my writerly brain broke and it was the part that allowed me to think of a story I loved enough and had enough belief in to finish.
I have had thoughts about not writing anymore. To focus my creative energy elsewhere. Somewhere besides books.
But something doesn’t feel right when I don’t write.
There’s a quote that talks about enjoying having written more than the actual writing. Creating and sharing ideas is compulsion, writing is just the medium.
But I don’t think that’s true for me.
I’m happiest when the words are going down on paper at 1,000,000 words a minute and when I’m done and have managed to write 2 or 3k in a day, I’m drunk on storytelling. The creation of real story and life literally puts me in a bit of a daze and I can’t write any more that day but I am kind of just wandering around the house feeling accomplished and a bit delirious.
I’m happiest when I see the thing I have created, even if it’s a first draft, and it is done and it is beautiful and it is mine. It has so much potential to become something great and to be loved by people who aren’t me.
I am just as happy during the journey as I am when I get to the destination. When I’m done, I feel accomplished, but I’m also almost immediately looking for my next project.
Do I have the urge to get words on paper? Occasionally. Do I usually have to make myself get offline to get started and whine through the first 100 or so words? You’d better believe it. But when I go back later, to edit or just read for fun, and I look at it and think “I wrote this?” or I print a page out and it feels like my words are tangible and I almost cry from it, that’s worth all the griping for 20 minutes as I make myself spit out 200 crap words. That’s worth all the writers block, the “help I don’t know what I’m supposed to write here!”, the tears, the sweat, the diet coke, the considering of asking friends to help, any and every doubt given through the process.
Writing is worth it. And I am going to keep writing until I am old and my plot bunny pen is completely empty. I doubt it will ever be completely empty, though.
And if other people don’t enjoy writing enough to do it all the time, fine. I do not shame you for it, I do not judge you for it.
Just don’t shame me for mine. I’m happy with my writing process.
Something really cool happened today.
I don’t talk about it a lot here, but I adore Minecraft. If you don’t know what that is, I highly recommend looking it up. In a nutshell, it’s a sandbox game where you can do pretty much whatever you want to– farming, building, survival, combat– in a world where everything is shaped like blocks. I’ve been playing Minecraft for about 2 years, under the name of SherwoodWriter.
I just bought the PC Edition a few weeks ago, after playing the Pocket Edition for so long. The cool thing about the PC Edition is that there are many more modifications and servers made for PC.
One of these servers is called Skybounds. It’s sort of a skyblock server, skyblock being a game where you have to survive on a tiny island in the sky with just a tree and a few other resources. Skybounds has mining and combat and challenges to complete. A few famous Minecraft YouTubers play Skybounds, one of them being CaptainSparklez.
CaptainSparklez (his real name is Jordan Maron) is a huge name in Minecraft and YouTube and I enjoy his videos quite a bit. He’s been playing Skybounds for a while with another YouTuber. When I bought Minecraft PC Edition, Skybounds was one of the first games I started playing.
Now, there are a lot of people who aren’t very kind or are just annoying when it comes to CaptainSparklez and other YouTubers. They want the famous person to notice them or they want give that person stuff or they want to take on that person in combat and slaughter them (big names on Skybounds also have big bounties on their heads as part of the game). For these reasons, some people use a nickname feature on Skybounds.
I don’t want to be the jerk who says “HI CAPTAINSPARKLEZ NOTICE ME”, literally or otherwise. And while I’d love to take Mr. Sparklez out in a bout of combat… my pvp skills aren’t that great. He’d more likely take me out.
Still, I had a hope that I could be annihilated by him or play a round of mining world at the same time he did or something. Of course, him being nicknamed 98% of the time meant I wouldn’t recognize him and I wouldn’t know that I had been there until I watched his video. The other problem with this grand scheme is that he always seems to be on the Skybounds server at a very late hour because of timezone differences.
Still, I hoped.
A few nights ago (Monday night, I think) I was on the server. I knew CaptainSparklez was on because the chat was going nuts and his bounty was displayed on the bounty board (doesn’t display when he isn’t on). I got hopeful. I looked around for him a bit. Didn’t see him.
Today, he uploaded a Skybounds video. And as I watched it, I caught sight of a Twilight Sparkle skin.
Not just once, though.
Oh. My. Holy. Plot. Bunnies. Ohmysweetholyplotbunnies.
This obviously doesn’t make me famous or anything. With thousands of people on that server, I can’t say I’m famous for being in the background of 5 seconds of a CaptainSparklez video.
It did make my day, though.
Welcome to part two of 50 facts about me. Due to the long hiatus, age of this blog, and new followers, I decided to start off my return to the blogosphere with an introduction. You can find Part 1 here.
Here we go!
26. I am picky about music. You almost have to trick me into listening to new music, in fact. But, at the same time, there are very few music styles I don’t like at all.
27. I love musicals. My current favorite is Hamilton, but I also love classics like The Sound of Music, Les Miserables, and several Disney movies.
28. There are very few music artists I like and will listen to a lot of. The top three are Peter Hollens, Ed Sheeran, and Lin Manuel Miranda.
29. In a similar vein, there are lots of authors I love as people but don’t want to read their books… if that makes sense.
30. I am the oldest of eight kids, seven girls and one boy.
31. One of my sisters is married.
32. I have never had a boyfriend.
33. Except the fictional ones.
34. I love coffee. My favorite coffee drinks are sweet and iced.
35. I am picky about tea. I only like black tea, hot or iced, with sugar and maybe milk.
36. I’m a night owl. I like being up in the morning, but I don’t like getting up in the morning.
37. I like riding a bike or walking, as far as exercise goes. Swimming is awesome, but I don’t have a pool. I’d honestly like to take martial arts, at some point.
38. I’m a cat person. Like I like cats, not that I am a cat, obviously…
39. I’m not a cat, I’m clearly a dragon.
40. I like dresses. Why did balls and ball gowns go out of style? Seriously.
41. I’m a Jane Austen fan.
42. I have the tendency to suddenly be “reading” four books at once and then I stress out because of it.
43. I love biographies. If I’m not reading fiction, I’m probably reading a biography or a book on writing (and those are occasionally the same thing).
44. I prefer headphones over ear buds.
45. I love origins. I love learning where words come from, how things are made, what someone’s ancestry looks like, how things got started, etc.
46. I learn best by having some instruction, an example, and then doing.
47. I am running out of facts.
48. My favorite fruits are pears, mangoes, and plums. Apples and bananas are also lovely.
49. I was born in Georgia.
50. I am trying to start a YouTube channel. Right now, it’s just vlogs but I’d like to branch out into other things, if I can figure out how to do that.
And that’s 50! Tell me some awesome things about yourself in the comments! Thoughts on music? What kind of exercise do you like? Why did ballgowns and balls go out of style?
To start off my return to blogging, I thought I would introduce myself again. After all, I gained a few followers in my hiatus and I’ve changed a bit since this blog’s birth in 2014. So, without further ado, 50 random facts about yours truly.
1. I’m a writer. I’m not sure how you don’t know this because it’s literally everywhere but if you didn’t, now you do.
2. I write mainly fantasy, mainly in the Young Adult category. Dragons and magic and angst all around!
3. On the note of writing, I am also a member of Chapter Twenty-One Con, which is a writer’s conference for twenty-something writers. If you’re interested in that, the Ch21Con site is here.
4. I also used to blog for YAvengers, giving writing advice under the persona of Vision. Sadly, that was short lived, but if you are interested in reading old posts, the blog is here.
5. Back to non-blogging writing, I usually do not talk about my current projects until I get a first draft done. Keeping the plot mostly to myself helps me stay motivated. If you’d like small tidbits of my work in progress and me occasionally tongue in cheek complaining about writing, check out my Twitter.
6. I used to use the pseudonym Robyn Hoode online. That should explain my blog URL, my Twitter handle, and XBox gamertag.
7. I named my “internal editor” Lydia. She is basically just the subconscious feeling that helps me not write complete garbage. I do refer to that feeling as Lydia occasionally on the blog.
8. Besides writing, I love to read. My favorite books are all over the place in varying genres, but The Lord of the Rings trilogy will always be near the top of the list.
9. I love movies too. Really, storytelling in any form. My favorite movies tend to be Disney movies or ones made for kids in general. It’s a fantasy of mine to write for Disney.
10. Now, I’m extremely picky about tv shows. I do have a few favorites, though, including Doctor Who, Sherlock, Gilmore Girls, My Little Pony, and The Great British Bake Off. Note that three of those five are BBC.
11. My favorite season is Autumn, which just smells like potential and motivation to me. (Something in the air. Mary Shelly actually describes this in the beginning of Frankenstein.)
12. My favorite holiday is Christmas. It’s not so much just one day as it is a season and everyone is happy.
13. On that note, I am a Christian. I’ve been one since I accepted Jesus as my Savior back in 1999. And discussing the Bible is absolutely one of my favorite things to do. (And if you ever wish to discuss the Bible or beliefs, my comments are open.)
14. I adore Bible Trivia. I was a semi-finalist of the 2009 Bible Bee.
15. I have an extremely good memory, but I don’t memorize things well. It’s more like things just stick well.
16. I like to bake and experiment with baking. But it is purely a hobby.
17. I used to knit. Time and motivation got away from me, though.
18. I love Minecraft. It is such a fun game and I wish I had more people to play it with.
19. On the Minecraft note, one of my favorite YouTubers is CaptainSparklez.
20. I don’t watch many other YouTubers, but my friend Hannah has a lovely channel (and her 50 Facts About Me vlog inspired this post).
21. My MBTI type is ISFJ. This is supposed to be a common type and yet, I don’t think I know any other ISFJs.
22. My official Hogwarts House is Hufflepuff, but due to some circumstances, I recently disowned Hufflepuff and declared myself as my second House, Ravenclaw.
23. My favorite color is blue and my favorite shades are tropical blue and teal (the two blues that decorate my blog).
24. I love GIFs. But I probably won’t be using them in blog posts until I get a laptop.
25. I love glitter. Not big pieces of glitter, but the tiny, never going to get it off glitter.
And I’m going to stop the post here. If you made it this far, you are awesome and have some cookies! Tell me some random facts about you in the comments. I want to know some cool things about you.
Hi, reader-peeps. It’s been a while. ☺
So, I haven’t posted in six weeks.
Which, I hope you noticed and missed me.
If you didn’t, don’t tell me.
Truth of the matter is that life got ahead of me and that I have been running short on ideas for quite a while now.
No, this is not the end of Spiral-Bound. But it might be the start of something new.
I’m making my hiatus official. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. Hopefully not long. But I need to take a step back and evaluate without my blog breathing down the back of my neck like a mob boss that I haven’t paid.
Not that any such person exists! Totally not…
Anyway, reader peeps, I’ll be back soon. Don’t forget to be awesome.
The other day, I posted about running, how I started running and was enjoying it and was wondering if elliptical miles are equivalent to ground miles.
On Saturday, I ran one mile in twenty minutes, less than half of what I can do on the elliptical. I walked that last quarter mile. And that running makes me feel very breathing, much ow. I’m still sore on Tuesday.
BUT I RAN A MILE!!! Well, walked some of it, but I did it! And now I have a goal to work toward. Emotionally, I felt ready to take on the world.
On the other hand, though, I’m not particularly looking forward to running outside and being sore again. My excitement about running has faded a bit, probably because I skipped a few days because, guess what, I’m sore!
So, here’s what I’m going to do.
I’m not going to run for the rest of this week, or at least until Saturday. I think I’m going to do yoga instead or just forget it because it’s VBS week and Vacation Bible School tends to wear me out anyway. It’s plenty of exercise, I think.
Next week, I will reevaluate. Figure out running days, figure out elliptical days, figure out other exercise days. Nothing super strict, since I have no desire whatsoever to run in the rain (and we got a flash hail storm yesterday so…).
Thank you to everyone who encourages me in this. Encouragement really helps and means a lot.
Short post today, but hopefully soon there will be a longer post, maybe even one about writing
because hey this is a writing blog… i think.
I started running, reader peeps.
Well, not really running. Elliptical. Which is kind of running, but indoors (and still feels a little like cheating to me).
So, the picture above is where I kept track of my times and how far I’ve gone. The elliptical is accurate on time. I don’t know how accurate it is on distance, which is the second column of numbers.
The first day I was doing this, June 8th, I did not really want to get on the elliptical. I knew I needed to, I knew I should, but I was procrastinating. But I did it. Then I was talking to a friend about it afterward and he told me that I had gone over 5k.
As a kid, I hated running. I was slow. My chest hurt afterward. I came in last because all the other kids were faster. As a teen and even up to the last year, running was not something I could see myself doing. Not in a house, not with a mouse. Not with a goat, not on a boat. I did play with the idea a bit last year. But I never actually did it.
And then this. June 8th. I run over a 5k? (By the way, 5k=3.1 miles.)
It was a huge confidence boost.
For the next week, I did the elliptical every day. I got up early, excited to run on Saturday, the 9th. Almost every day I would talk to my friend about running, sharing time/distance and asking questions (he has been running longer than me). Everything has been going beautifully. I’ve learned to hydrate pre-run so I don’t get a headache. I’ve learned that music works, Netflix does not. I’ve learned that I really have to warm up my knees and ankles pre-run. I’m kind of excited by obstacle races and would love to do one eventually.
Then two days ago, I start thinking about how I could take this running outside. Partially so I can figure out if I really can run 5k.
I live in Middle Of Nowhere, Indiana on a good sized property, but not in a town. I live out in the country. So it’s not like I can run around our town on the sidewalks or anything like that. So. How do I take this outside?
Run around the yard.
Now, to do this I need two things: a way to keep track of time and a way to keep track of distance.
Time is a minor issue. That’s what watches are for. Distance however…
So, I ask my dad how big our property is in miles. I figure I can lap the yard however many times to equal that 3.1 miles. We do the math.
About 4 laps around the yard is 1 mile.
Which means that 3 miles is 12 laps around the yard.
Holy plot bunnies…
I wish that I could end this post with a heartwarming underdog victory and tell you how I absolutely did run 12 laps around my yard and I feel great about it.
But I haven’t done it yet.
I asked my dad about distance yesterday. Yesterday was kinda an emotional mess. Yesterday the morning elliptical went poorly and I wasn’t happy about how it turned out (it was a slow run, because I was sore, and Netflix made it go by too fast, so I felt like it had been too easy– seriously, guys, Netflix does NOT WORK FOR THIS). Yesterday I wanted to do everything and nothing. Yesterday food was making me feel sick.
Yesterday I asked my dad about the distance for running the perimeter of our yard. 12 laps for 3 miles.
Peeps, I’m terrified. Our yard is huge. For years, I’ve gotten tired just walking to the garden and back and that’s only half the yard.
On the one hand, the elliptical could be accurate enough and I can totally handle 12 laps around the yard. On the other hand, the elliptical could be horrifically inaccurate and I can’t make it at all.
And maybe that’s a completely stupid thing to be worried about. 5k is a huge amount. So what if I can’t run it?
I’m not sure that I’ve ever had Impostor Syndrome with writing. I’ve had times where I wonder if I can really write, sure. But worrying about being a fraud is not quite accurate there. That’s more of just writerly doubt, I think.
I might have Impostor Syndrome with running, though. A fear of finding out that I’m not really that good. That there’s no way that the 5k is accurate if I’m dying after one lap around the yard. It’s so inaccurate that it’s laughable. That I’m laughable. That I should’ve never tried running in the first place and there’s no point in continuing to try. That I was living in delusion. That I am a fraud.
So here we are. I want to run outside. I want to know.
At the same time, I don’t want to know at all. I’m terrified. My bubble of ignorance is safe.
But I think that if I don’t find out on my own, the truth will come out sooner or later. And if I find out sooner, I have a chance to improve before later.
Today is a rest day. Today is a day to read and write, two things which have been a bit ignored this week. Today is to recover, a day to rise from the ashes.
Tomorrow is a day to brush off the ashes and put back on my running shoes. Tomorrow, I will run.