Dear Starshine- Gratitude Journals- Day 4

Dear Starshine,

Today, I chose to write my nearly daily gratitude journal entry about you. I also chose to write it to you.

So, thank you.

Thank you for being my boyfriend. I know some days I take more patience than others. I know some days it’s hard to be so far apart, especially during this time, when our plans of being together seem farther in the future than ever. But you remind me over and over we will get through this. Thank you for that.

Thank you for holding me. Given our distance, I don’t mean physically (though you give the very best hugs and I can’t wait until we can be together again). Thank you for being there when I need you, when my world is crashing down, when my blood sugar is low and I’m irritated for no reason, when I’m saddened by someone else’s off-handed comment, when I just am thinky. Thank you for being someone I can hold on to and trust.

Thank you for trusting me. I want to be there for you through thick and thin. I want to be there to hold you when your world is crashing down, the same way you are there for me. I want to be there for you when things are bad. You trust me with your heart and I want to take care of it the best way I know how.

Thank you for celebrating with me. There’s a time for tears but there’s also a time for laughter and you make me smile and laugh every single day. Thank you for making me grin, being happy for me, and I am so happy I get to be happy for you and with you and that I can make you smile.

Thank you for supporting me. I still can’t quite believe it when you tell me my writing is actually good and your only complaint is the fact it’s not already published. Thank you for pushing me to write. And thank you for pushing me to be more confident too.

Thank you for your prayers for me. You have no idea how much it means to me when you tell me you’ve been praying for me. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been praying for exactly. The fact that you care enough about me to petition our Heavenly Father on my behalf is one of the best things I can know.

Thank you for introducing me to Magic the Gathering. One day I’ll be able to win against you but I make no guarantees that I will ever actually learn enough to know what exactly you are talking about when you start just talking about technique with no reference…

Thank you for playing Minecraft and starting Knights Radient, ForgottenPast. I am honored to be your Minecraft queen.

Thank you for all you say, do, and think. Thank you for being you, your awesome, amazing, nerdy, kind, loving, sweet self. I never in a million years thought I could be blessed with a boyfriend like you, Ammon J.

Love,

Kate

Creativity- Gratitude Journals- Day 3

I am not sure why I have so much trouble choosing what topic to write about for these journals… I think it still is me worrying that people will think I am somehow ranking these due to what order they are in.

I am grateful for creativity. Even if it does occasionally allude me…

I am grateful that God made me creative and allows me to find new ways to do things.

I am grateful for the gift of writing, that I can create worlds with ink, paper, and 26 letters. That I can express ideas and thoughts in blog posts.

I am grateful for creative games, where I can create worlds there too.

I am grateful that with the creativity, I have been given an amount of organization, so I know how to place things (be that Minecraft blocks or words) so that they are appealing to myself and others.

I am grateful for the creativity that comes with problem solving.

And today is a short post because I just got done with a fiction writing session. My creativity is just about spent for today.

Kate out.

Tears- Gratitude Journals- Day 2

Hi, reader-peeps.

I had a very hard time coming up with the topic for today’s post. Mostly because I didn’t want anyone to feel as if I am ranking these by what order I write posts about them. There are obviously some things I am more grateful for than others and things that are more important than others that I am not nearly grateful enough for.

With that out of the way, I am going to start this off with a bit of an odd thing because it’s on my mind.

True, but I those of us who are so determined to stay strong hate it when it happens.

I’m grateful for tears.

I don’t cry in front of people. And if I do start to cry in front of people, it is quickly dried up when they start trying to comfort me or saying things like “hey, don’t cry, it’s okay”. It’s almost as if I feel I might be too mature for tears. And I wonder if the culture of “You can do it!” is partially encouraging this mindset. Like crying is somehow… not okay.

A lot of things cause tears. Sadness is an obvious one. Fear can cause tears. Anger. Even happiness can cause tears. And sometimes, something as uncontrollable as a hormonal imbalance (looking at you, PMS) can cause tears.

Tears are not a bad thing. After all, Jesus wept, didn’t He? And yet somehow, it’s ingrained in my subconscious and probably in the subconscious of many people that crying isn’t a good thing and we ought to be happy and just go with the flow of everything and why would you be sad when everything is good?

But God gave us the ability to cry. In this time of intense fear and worry and sadness, we probably all could use a good cry. Scientific research has shown that crying is actually good for us and can help us feel better.

To be completely open with you, I cried last night. I have been needing to have a good cry for quite a while. Enough fear and sadness had been bottled up for so long, but I was always with someone and like I said earlier, I feel like I can’t cry in front of people. Last night though, I finally broke. I cried for a while, with someone in the room because I was well past the point of caring if he saw me crying hard or not.

I felt so much better today. I haven’t felt like I was a step away from crying, like I have for a while now. I don’t feel just absolutely tired. I feel… happier. I hope that I never am so silly to hold back tears for that long ever again.

If you need to cry, don’t hold it back. Please cry. It will make you feel better.

God gave us tears. He fashioned us so sobbing is pain relief. He made us so that crying can be for any emotion. Dare I say that tears are even a form of praise unto Him; that tears can be shed for His glory?

Kate out.

Gratitude Journals- Day 1

So. This coronavirus thing that’s going around. sorry, bad joke, i’ll show myself out…

Okay, let’s try that again. I see a lot of people talking about being grateful. How gratitude will help us find peace in this time of turmoil.

I have anxiety. It’s sometimes hard to manage. These days, a lot of people are anxious, so I’m nothing special, but the fact I’m surrounded by anxiety and hard times makes my anxiety worse. I didn’t write this post to complain or to try to brag that I somehow have it worse than you (there are people that do that).

I want to start a series of blog posts about the things I’m grateful for in my life. The things I list may seem like that awkward cheesiness on Thanksgiving when everyone is supposed to go around the table and say what they are thankful for but 1. I have always been better at expressing myself through text instead of verbally and 2. not everyone has those things and they are truly something to be grateful for.

I would also like to express that I am by no means trying to brag about what I do have either. I don’t want to give that appearance. My purpose in these posts is catharsis and peace, praise and thankfulness to my God, and also because I haven’t written on my blog in a very long time and now seems like a very good time to get back on that. I want to try to post everyday. I want to write about something I’m grateful for and maybe also talk about some the things I am doing during this time of lockdown.

I am starting a gratitide journal. What is a blog but an online journal?

If you want to join me on your own blogs, Facebook posts, or anything like that, please do! Let us remember the blessings we have. Things are frightening right now and we all have doubts and anxiety about the future. But God is good. Let us remember that He is good.

Kate out.

Is writing worth it?

Hi, reader-peeps.

Recently, a friend sent me an article called I’m Not a Writer. Don’t ask me how the guy wrote the article if he’s not a writer.

Summed up, the author says that he’s never felt compelled to write and if he never wrote another word again, he’s be just fine with that. And yet, he still wrote this article.  He has articles and whatnot published and some self-published books. This guy wants to share ideas, but writing itself is not something he enjoys.

Reader-peeps, this scared the crap out of me when I read it. Especially when I read the part about how he could never write again and he’d be okay with that.

She was such a great character. wish they’d done more with her. She was an amazing character! So much vivaciousness and personality in such little time. I wish...

I have been there. I have wondered things like “do I even want to write? would I be happy if I did something else and never wrote again?” This is not to say that I wouldn’t still be sharing ideas in some medium, but Bob-darnit, peeps, writing novels is HARD. I used to turn out a novel at least once a year. They weren’t “good”, per se, but they were full stories and I adored them and loved writing them.

I haven’t finished a novel since October 2016. I feel like I’ve said this before here on this blog. If I did, I probably also said that this scares me. I feel like something in my writerly brain broke and it was the part that allowed me to think of a story I loved enough and had enough belief in to finish.

Liv and Maddie

I have had thoughts about not writing anymore. To focus my creative energy elsewhere. Somewhere besides books.

But something doesn’t feel right when I don’t write.

There’s a quote that talks about enjoying having written more than the actual writing. Creating and sharing ideas is compulsion, writing is just the medium.

But I don’t think that’s true for me.

I’m happiest when the words are going down on paper at 1,000,000 words a minute and when I’m done and have managed to write 2 or 3k in a day, I’m drunk on storytelling. The creation of real story and life literally puts me in a bit of a daze and I can’t write any more that day but I am kind of just wandering around the house feeling accomplished and a bit delirious.

The 36 Worst Love Matches For You, Based On Your Astrological Sign

I’m happiest when I see the thing I have created, even if it’s a first draft, and it is done and it is beautiful and it is mine. It has so much potential to become something great and to be loved by people who aren’t me.

I am just as happy during the journey as I am when I get to the destination. When I’m done, I feel accomplished, but I’m also almost immediately looking for my next project.

Do I have the urge to get words on paper? Occasionally. Do I usually have to make myself get offline to get started and whine through the first 100 or so words? You’d better believe it. But when I go back later, to edit or just read for fun, and I look at it and think “I wrote this?” or I print a page out and it feels like my words are tangible and I almost cry from it, that’s worth all the griping for 20 minutes as I make myself spit out 200 crap words. That’s worth all the writers block, the “help I don’t know what I’m supposed to write here!”, the tears, the sweat, the diet coke, the considering of asking friends to help, any and every doubt given through the process.

Writing is worth it. And I am going to keep writing until I am old and my plot bunny pen is completely empty. I doubt it will ever be completely empty, though.

And if other people don’t enjoy writing enough to do it all the time, fine. I do not shame you for it, I do not judge you for it.

Just don’t shame me for mine. I’m happy with my writing process.

Image result for rachel berry gif don't rain on my parade

Kate out.

 

A Sparkly Encounter

Hi, reader-peeps.

Something really cool happened today.

I don’t talk about it a lot here, but I adore Minecraft. If you don’t know what that is, I highly recommend looking it up. In a nutshell, it’s a sandbox game where you can do pretty much whatever you want to– farming, building, survival, combat– in a world where everything is shaped like blocks. I’ve been playing Minecraft for about 2 years, under the name of SherwoodWriter.

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Currently sporting an adorable Twilight Sparkle skin.

I just bought the PC Edition a few weeks ago, after playing the Pocket Edition for so long. The cool thing about the PC Edition is that there are many more modifications and servers made for PC.

One of these servers is called Skybounds. It’s sort of a skyblock server, skyblock being a game where you have to survive on a tiny island in the sky with just a tree and a few other resources. Skybounds has mining and combat and challenges to complete. A few famous Minecraft YouTubers play Skybounds, one of them being CaptainSparklez.

CaptainSparklez (his real name is Jordan Maron) is a huge name in Minecraft and YouTube and I enjoy his videos quite a bit. He’s been playing Skybounds for a while with another YouTuber. When I bought Minecraft PC Edition, Skybounds was one of the first games I started playing.

Now, there are a lot of people who aren’t very kind or are just annoying when it comes to CaptainSparklez and other YouTubers. They want the famous person to notice them or they want give that person stuff or they want to take on that person in combat and slaughter them (big names on Skybounds also have big bounties on their heads as part of the game). For these reasons, some people use a nickname feature on Skybounds.

I don’t want to be the jerk who says “HI CAPTAINSPARKLEZ NOTICE ME”, literally or otherwise. And while I’d love to take Mr. Sparklez out in a bout of combat… my pvp skills aren’t that great. He’d more likely take me out.

Still, I had a hope that I could be annihilated by him or play a round of mining world at the same time he did or something. Of course, him being nicknamed 98% of the time meant I wouldn’t recognize him and I wouldn’t know that I had been there until I watched his video. The other problem with this grand scheme is that he always seems to be on the Skybounds server at a very late hour because of timezone differences.

Still, I hoped.

A few nights ago (Monday night, I think) I was on the server. I knew CaptainSparklez was on because the chat was going nuts and his bounty was displayed on the bounty board (doesn’t display when he isn’t on). I got hopeful. I looked around for him a bit. Didn’t see him.

Today, he uploaded a Skybounds video. And as I watched it, I caught sight of a Twilight Sparkle skin.

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Not just once, though.

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TWICE.

Oh. My. Holy. Plot. Bunnies. Ohmysweetholyplotbunnies.

This obviously doesn’t make me famous or anything. With thousands of people on that server, I can’t say I’m famous for being in the background of 5 seconds of a CaptainSparklez video.

It did make my day, though.

Kate out.

An Intro, Part 2

Hi, reader-peeps! 

Welcome to part two of 50 facts about me. Due to the long hiatus, age of this blog, and new followers, I decided to start off my return to the blogosphere with an introduction. You can find Part 1 here

Here we go!

26. I am picky about music. You almost have to trick me into listening to new music, in fact. But, at the same time, there are very few music styles I don’t like at all. 

27. I love musicals. My current favorite is Hamilton, but I also love classics like The Sound of Music, Les Miserables, and several Disney movies. 

28. There are very few music artists I like and will listen to a lot of. The top three are Peter Hollens, Ed Sheeran, and Lin Manuel Miranda. 

29. In a similar vein, there are lots of authors I love as people but don’t want to read their books… if that makes sense.

30. I am the oldest of eight kids, seven girls and one boy. 

31. One of my sisters is married. 

32. I have never had a boyfriend. 

33. Except the fictional ones. 

34. I love coffee. My favorite coffee drinks are sweet and iced. 

35. I am picky about tea. I only like black tea, hot or iced, with sugar and maybe milk. 

36. I’m a night owl. I like being up in the morning, but I don’t like getting up in the morning. 

37. I like riding a bike or walking, as far as exercise goes. Swimming is awesome, but I don’t have a pool. I’d honestly like to take martial arts, at some point. 

38. I’m a cat person. Like I like cats, not that I am a cat, obviously… 

39. I’m not a cat, I’m clearly a dragon. 

40. I like dresses. Why did balls and ball gowns go out of style? Seriously. 

41. I’m a Jane Austen fan. 

42. I have the tendency to suddenly be “reading” four books at once and then I stress out because of it. 

43. I love biographies. If I’m not reading fiction, I’m probably reading a biography or a book on writing (and those are occasionally the same thing).

44. I prefer headphones over ear buds. 

45. I love origins. I love learning where words come from, how things are made, what someone’s ancestry looks like, how things got started, etc. 

46. I learn best by having some instruction, an example, and then doing. 

47. I am running out of facts. 

48. My favorite fruits are pears, mangoes, and plums. Apples and bananas are also lovely. 

49. I was born in Georgia.

50. I am trying to start a YouTube channel. Right now, it’s just vlogs but I’d like to branch out into other things, if I can figure out how to do that. 

And that’s 50! Tell me some awesome things about yourself in the comments! Thoughts on music? What kind of exercise do you like? Why did ballgowns and balls go out of style? 

Kate out. 

An Intro, Part 1

Hello, reader-peeps. 

To start off my return to blogging, I thought I would introduce myself again. After all, I gained a few followers in my hiatus and I’ve changed a bit since this blog’s birth in 2014. So, without further ado, 50 random facts about yours truly. 

1. I’m a writer. I’m not sure how you don’t know this because it’s literally everywhere but if you didn’t, now you do. 

2. I write mainly fantasy, mainly in the Young Adult category. Dragons and magic and angst all around!

3. On the note of writing, I am also a member of Chapter Twenty-One Con, which is a writer’s conference for twenty-something writers. If you’re interested in that, the Ch21Con site is here.

4. I also used to blog for YAvengers, giving writing advice under the persona of Vision. Sadly, that was short lived, but if you are interested in reading old posts, the blog is here

5. Back to non-blogging writing, I usually do not talk about my current projects until I get a first draft done. Keeping the plot mostly to myself helps me stay motivated. If you’d like small tidbits of my work in progress and me occasionally tongue in cheek complaining about writing, check out my Twitter

6. I used to use the pseudonym Robyn Hoode online. That should explain my blog URL, my Twitter handle, and XBox gamertag. 

7. I named my “internal editor” Lydia. She is basically just the subconscious feeling that helps me not write complete garbage. I do refer to that feeling as Lydia occasionally on the blog.

8. Besides writing, I love to read. My favorite books are all over the place in varying genres, but The Lord of the Rings trilogy will always be near the top of the list. 

9. I love movies too. Really, storytelling in any form. My favorite movies tend to be Disney movies or ones made for kids in general. It’s a fantasy of mine to write for Disney. 

10. Now, I’m extremely picky about tv shows. I do have a few favorites, though, including Doctor Who, Sherlock, Gilmore Girls, My Little Pony, and The Great British Bake Off. Note that three of those five are BBC. 

11. My favorite season is Autumn, which just smells like potential and motivation to me. (Something in the air. Mary Shelly actually describes this in the beginning of Frankenstein.)

12. My favorite holiday is Christmas. It’s not so much just one day as it is a season and everyone is happy. 

13. On that note, I am a Christian. I’ve been one since I accepted Jesus as my Savior back in 1999. And discussing the Bible is absolutely one of my favorite things to do. (And if you ever wish to discuss the Bible or beliefs, my comments are open.) 

14. I adore Bible Trivia. I was a semi-finalist of the 2009 Bible Bee. 

15. I have an extremely good memory, but I don’t memorize things well. It’s more like things just stick well. 

16. I like to bake and experiment with baking. But it is purely a hobby. 

17. I used to knit. Time and motivation got away from me, though. 

18. I love Minecraft. It is such a fun game and I wish I had more people to play it with. 

19. On the Minecraft note, one of my favorite YouTubers is CaptainSparklez. 

20. I don’t watch many other YouTubers, but my friend Hannah has a lovely channel (and her 50 Facts About Me vlog inspired this post). 

21. My MBTI type is ISFJ. This is supposed to be a common type and yet, I don’t think I know any other ISFJs. 

22. My official Hogwarts House is Hufflepuff, but due to some circumstances, I recently disowned Hufflepuff and declared myself as my second House, Ravenclaw. 

23. My favorite color is blue and my favorite shades are tropical blue and teal (the two blues that decorate my blog). 

24. I love GIFs. But I probably won’t be using them in blog posts until I get a laptop. 

25. I love glitter. Not big pieces of glitter, but the tiny, never going to get it off glitter. 

And I’m going to stop the post here. If you made it this far, you are awesome and have some cookies! Tell me some random facts about you in the comments. I want to know some cool things about you. 

Kate out.