Crucial Life Advice

So, earlier today, I was looking through a plot bunny notebook and discovered a list of tips…


Tips on how to behave when you are friends with a dragon.

Being a dragon’s friend is not always easy. There are several things you should keep in mind in order to safely and successfully have that friendship.

1. Be extra polite.

Dragons can breathe fire and they have terribly sharp teeth and claws. Provoking or even teasing a dragon can be disastrous.

2. Do not wear jewelry.

Dragons are hoarders and are particularly attracted to gold and gems, especially gold and rubies.

3. Do not bring up fantasy novels.

Dragons love debate and reading. If you bring up a fantasy novel, the dragon will either be offended by the portrayal of the antagonistic dragon Β in the story or he will spend hours talking about the themes, characters, plot, setting, and all the inconsistencies he found.

4. Do not quote philosophers.

See point 3.

5. Do allow talk about the things that interests him above your own interests.

I believe that’s rather self-explanatory.

I hope this tips are helpful to you as you seek to befriend one of natures most majestic and dangerous creatures. Be sure to tune in next time when I give tips on how to treat 3rd degree burns and give you the phone numbers of today’s best knights in shining armor.

Good night, Night Vale.

^^I couldn’t help that.



16 thoughts on “Crucial Life Advice

  1. This is an awesome list! As a dragon lover, I totally approve of this list. Living so long, I suppose dragons have had a good long time to think philosophical thoughts. I certainly couldn’t debate philosophy with one. Love it!

    • Thanks.

      Number 5 is explained by the fact that you want to keep the dragon happy. Also, you probably don’t want to seem selfish to a dragon– some dragons can sense your intent.
      Ultimately, it’s best if you discuss things that interest both of you, but when you’ve run out of those topics, err on the side of dragon.

      • The way you worded it is confusing. “Do allow talk about the things that interests him above your own interests.” It sounds like…don’t let him talk about the things he’s interested in more than you talk about the things you’re interested in. πŸ˜›

        Thanks for the explanation though.

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